


Let's Play House

by liternee109



Category: Inception (2010)
Genre: Bad Pick Up Lines, Bets, Dinner, Fluff, M/M, Secret Saito 2016, mention of ariadne, mention of saito, reddit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-20
Updated: 2016-12-20
Packaged: 2018-09-09 23:32:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8917543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liternee109/pseuds/liternee109
Summary: What's a nice dinner without some bad pickup lines?
Eames takes Arthur out to a Holiday Dinner and makes sure to make it entertaining.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [teacuphuman](https://archiveofourown.org/users/teacuphuman/gifts).



> This was my entry for the Secret Saito 2016. The prompt was "thighs". I hope you enjoy teacuphuman:)
> 
> Thanks as always to those who had to listen to me wrestle this story onto paper. A-forger-and-a-pointman you are the best cheerleader ever. SpiritofCamelot and therealpigfarts23 awesome betas as always <3\. 
> 
> Honorary mention to the inspiration to the title of the story that did not make it into the story :  
> "Hey baby, lets go back to my place and play house. You be the door and I'll slam you."

Arthur knew something was up; after all, he hadn’t survived this long and become one of the best point men in the industry for nothing. Also, Arthur knew Eames, in every sense of the word. He knew when Eames was actually dedicated to something. He knew when Eames was actually angry, which was not something he wanted to see often. And he knew when Eames was doing something because there was money on the line. 

Arthur also knew that sometimes it was better to just let Eames keep going and see what occurred. 

The night had started off with a walk through the city from Arthur's current residence. When Eames held out his hand and asked, “Darling, would you hold this while I go for a walk?” Arthur had been charmed into taking his hand with a soft smile and only minimal eye rolling. When they got to the restaurant and Eames opened the door with “I'm pretty, you're pretty. What do you say we go home and stare at each other?" Arthur had started to get annoyed. 

By the time they ordered wine, Eames was contemplatively stirring his drink and asked, “Excuse me but... was your mother a beaver?”

Arthur tried to look unphased.

“Because....DAMNNNN.” A small smile might have slipped out. 

Arthur had to put more effort into not showing his amusement and egging Eames on as the dinner progressed.  After having to listen to “Not only am I very handsome; I'm also very smart," and "Don't mind me, I'm just gonna stand here and hit on you for a few," Arthur had had to hide his laugh in his food multiple times. 

After the second course was cleared away and when Eames managed to slip “Baby, I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves,” into the conversation, Arthur suspected reddit; Eames did love a good reddit thread. Arthur decided to let Eames keep going to see if there was a limit to what Eames could pull off. 

The main course, a slow roasted chicken with a side of garlic mashed potatoes and grilled asparagus, was delicious and Eames hadn’t missed the opportunity to joke about juicy thighs.

"Great legs, what time do they open?" had confirmed Arthur's suspicion - he had found the correct askreddit under the table on his phone. He had smugly closed out of the app and let Eames continue to be ridiculous and charming as always. Arthur was glad his effort into his outfit, particularly his pants was well received. Eames did love his legs. 

That line, and his pants,  was inspiring, and soon Arthur felt a hand slide up his thigh under the table. His only response was a raised eyebrow and, “Eames, that bullet wound has completely healed by now.”

How much more would he  endure for Eames? The adorable smirk that was  growing on his partner’s face was worth it, but only up to a point. 

“I wish you were my shin so I could bang you on my coffee table.”

Arthur shot him down quick, "Eames, you can do better. That was last week, was it that easy to forget?"

Eames smile grew as he leaned toward Arthur and dropped his voice an octave, “Would this line have worked better; ‘Did it hurt, when you broke from the Earth’s crust emerging from the depths of hell?’”

“That would have been more flattering to my intelligence at least,” Arthur said before he sipped some more of his drink smugly.

Eames had looked serious for a second and Arthur was almost actually worried before he saw the mischievous glint that never truly left his partner’s eyes. “Ok Darling, but here’s the real question, and, mind you, this is a lot of money you are potentially making me give to Saito: Which one actually gave it away?”

“I’d bet my money Ariadne originally challenged you with a Reddit thread. Saito just saw the opportunity to call you on your bullshit.” Eames tried to look ashamed as Arthur continued. “Come on Eames, I know your game.” Arthur dabbed at his mouth with the linen napkin and pulled a poker face as soon as he saw the smug, fond, smirk that was now prominent on Eames’ face. 

His face was deadpan and his voice even, “It was, ‘Are those astronaut pants? Because your ass is out of this world.’ You’ve used that before. Are you becoming unimaginative, Eames?”

“So not ONLY did you figure it out in two lines, you let me get to 20 throughout a rather enjoyable meal. I knew you were patient, but this might be a new record. I still won the money of course, both bets. They underestimated your true fondness of me. One of the many reasons I truly love you darling- you can be predictable and surprising at the same time.”

Eames clearly never missed an opportunity to push Arthur's limits of patience, as he continued with, “Excuse me did you get those pants on sale…. Because they're 100% off in my room.”

Arthur put on his jacket after the bill was paid and made sure there was a swing in his step as he brushed past Eames, “Come on then, show me how truly imaginative you can be.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed. Feel free to stop by my tumblr to say hi, amarulasmile


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